in the wee hours

after we’ve distracted ourselves, fought with ourselves, done chores we’d rather do, we find ourselves sitting quietly, an occasional ‘clang’ as the rainbow strikes the sun over the big chair, the power of air vents and convection collaborating to give the evening a special something.

Boo has a special challenge. Sadly, I’m not able to help much. I hold on, but not sure if it is to pull her back, of push her further. What she deserves, where she needs to be (in my humble opinion) are things she doesn’t seem to want to ponder.
How to you help your loved ones cope with pain?

Boo’s grandma – Bubbie – isn’t doing great. As goes the strong women in a family, so goes the family.
Bubbie’s not in pain, her children are there or coming. She’s loved, shown by the aches and pains and pretty flowers by her bed.
I can’t make things better. Hell, seems I can’t even help…
A cruel crushing irony for someone who just this morning decided that ‘making the world a better place’ is a very very important driving value.

The storms have been arriving in the middle of the night these past few days.
Leaving the daylight hours for the pollen production of the end of times, or so it seems. Really – it’s noticeable on Ramona, our Mitsu Outlander, black. Or, yellow as it were.

Hold your loved ones close, make sure they know – my world – my life is so much better because of you.
See it in the eyes of new moms holding their precious ones – hear it in the voices of loving siblings who kinda know that yeah, what a long strange trip it’s been – shall we begin again? Feel it in your heart when you think of how the pain seemed to fade, to be replaced with an odd hollowness that at the same time is also solid. Weird, that. A solid void.

We do not forget, we can not – yet I have noticed that I recall the good – the nice – the warm and the loving and the love… they mean so much more to me.

In the wee hours, when netflix stills it’s high-pressure surge of decently written and wonderfully performed thriller romance crime comedy dramas, when the AC fan purrs in the background, and my wife, my wonderful lovely wife sleeps near our awesome dog, I feel ok. Even though it’s going to be rough, I feel ok.

Universal balance, a key element I contend, continues its pursuit. Welcome spring – a time of dramatic change.


oh – hey – flowers are heremarchness is here – and what the hell, here’s blue!