Gudogj gudogj, geal gudogj!!

Good luck to you and yours! Can you believe we’ve made it to May? wowsers.
April seems to kind have disappeared.

Why, you might be asking, did I choose Scotch/Gaelic for my opening? Well, you’d be correct in guessing that I’m marking the day some of the world celebrates “Beltane”.

I just might have to celebrate myself, with a nice nip or two.

Let’s see what comes up for us to enjoy.

Also, have you seen blue lately??

some times, you just have to sun dog!!


}S{ | dona nobis pacem |

“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”

Discovery rests…

An era comes dramatically to a close. Where have all the brave humans gone?

Moseley street – home for lunch one day in 4th grade probably – the Space Shuttle Enterprise is completing a test flight!! I am just totally awestruck – we are the most kick ass country in the world!!!
a la wikipedia:

February 18, 1977 Enterprise First flight; Attached to Shuttle Carrier Aircraft throughout flight.
August 12, 1977 Enterprise First free flight; Tailcone on; lakebed landing.
October 26, 1977 Enterprise Final Enterprise free flight; First landing on Edwards AFB concrete runway.

a few years later, Trinity ave, I’m prepared to spend the entire night waiting for the 1st launch f the space shuttle – but accidentally sleep through it – missing it by minutes!! ;-(

April 12, 1981 Columbia First Columbia flight, first orbital test flight; STS-1

Beth emails this morning – ‘where can I find pictures of the shuttle?’ – Boo comes in and says she’s sad she missed it. I recall trying to make the plans work for a dc trip to include Legos at the Building Museum, and the Shuttle flying in. Oh well…

To all those who made the shuttle a reality – thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Now, where shall we go next?

}S{ | dona nobis pacem |

“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”


a list of things to do…

or should I make a list of things I’ve done?

I do make stacks of things in the digital realm – stacks of funnnies I copy and paste into OneNote – cause I’d hate to have the zombies come, and not be able to recall a Pooch Cafe comic. Odd this need of mine. At least I’m not shipping 3 years of 4 car/bike magazines from Germany to California, right? Ah progress…

we progress. from being ourselves, to being a brother, to being a husband. From seeing our friends getting pregnant to our friends having little burritos of joy, to the burritos becoming bigger, from handling them when they are dropped into my arms to a solid hour of holding onto Morgan & Beth’s bundle of cute and staring at the world outside, going by in no particular rush…
“bobble headed baby, why your head bob? bobble headed baby, why you bobble your head?”

I tried to speak to her about the patterns of life, how a tiny seedling became the big oak tree in their back yard, as do the blades of grasses in the yard, the shrubs and flowers, even little people becoming big people – all part of the cycle. How water is an important element, and enjoyable to lounge in from time to time. Tried to bring up the wave/particle theory of light transmission, along with reflection and refraction issues as we stood out next Fergus, staring at our reflections in the rear door (which was tinted) and the difference in the driver’s window which isn’t tinted. She got to work out her little baby legs by pushing off the door and me saying ‘weeeeeeee flying bobble headed baby weeeeeee…..’

Yes – I’m frankly shocked too, since they know me so well, that they leave their bundle of joy in my possession – oh, got to bottle feed Izzy too today – moving right up the scale of ‘things nearly every one else has done in their lifetime’ accomplishments!!

Sometimes the accomplishment is surviving. making it to the next day intact. I’m sure I’ve written of the challenge of recalling darker days when you’re in a sunshiney-day, everybody singing… wish there could be some mechanism to make the impression of personal ache and pain real when it’s all gone; of course, I’m really hoping that blue mondays become the stuff of legend and fairytales, purposeful to get the attention of youngers, guiding them to better choices, but never actually becoming real or endangering them – just as dragons are.

Guess I’ll lead with hugs until that fantastical day comes to be, eh? Hugs and cookies.

How about you? have you made it to the place where the low spots are still remembered, but not to the degree that the slippery slope sends you into the abyss? A place where you don’t pull out the recording of Ex-mas to listen to the lovely heart break during the holidays, or the anniversary of the despair years. I like this place, as odd as it seems to me. I just hope it’s a place I can be for quite a while, a place as nice for all to join me as our front yard was this past sunday…

So exactly why to you read this far into a post by me? It’s hit or miss ( or miss and miss again) most of the time, and with the exception of pics of blue, the quality is dodgy. I appreciate, don’t get me wrong, I just wonder – are you here for a laugh? I should share a joke or three from the Matt; are you here for my artistic vision? perhaps I should tumblr more.Well, let me know, I’m not staying awake nights worrying, but you know – I strive to please my audience.

Be good to yourselves – always remember it’s gonna be ok, really. Go hold onto some one’s kid if you’re not sure.

also – blue!


}S{ | dona nobis pacem |

“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”


a warm night…

a longish day.
cool night air drifts in across our bed, blue towards the foot of the bed on my side, her butt up against my thigh. Boo reading a book that’s ‘all OJ Simpson’ she says, in the light of our artificial sun on the bedside table, her right foot and my left foot a touching … we’re both weary a bit, but the good way – from having perhaps too much fun today!

I headed off early and got to the F1 Meetup just in time for the start of a pretty decent Grand Prix of China race. I kept thinking, looking at the broadcast of a grey industrial visage of a location/race, how different the happy shiny rich people of Monaco make the Grand Prix of Monte Carlo look – guess it’s the Mediterranean influence, eh?

Made it back to Hobbit House just in time to do the slightest assist in setting up for a nice get together of friends new and old to celebrate Boo’s 5th Durhamversary! Yay!! Grilling was done, drinks were enjoyed, the Raymond turned out to be a Baby Whisperer (Scott, more of a baby breaker), and a truly lovely spring day was enjoyed by all.

Boo and I talk of our love buckets, and how occasionally we’ll do something that makes each other feel like our love buckets are overflowing – be it a kindness of pancakes for a scrumptious breakfast, or the nicest touch across a world weary shoulder.

Well, I have to say seeing our friends rally to celebrate, being comfortable in ways I forget our friends are able to be (apparently they are able to oversee the vast sweeping landscapes of Blue fur all about our abode…), kind and generous and lovely to a fault … overflowing doesn’t quite capture the feeling.

Swept overboard on a swell of light and spring breeze, kept a loft to see the sights, gently rendered to the comfort of an easy chair all the while loud smiles and warm laughter make us feel at ease and at home. Hell of a nice place to call home, this Durhamtown of ours. Though with the right size mini-bus, we might be able to re-locate a good deal of the Durhamtown-awesomeness, just saying.

Certainly tonight makes the next 5 years seem to be a gift, a time in our lives to build up and reach our happy plateau, just in time to finish building out a front porch/deck area, so as I can get my ‘hey you kids, get off my lawn!’ on; sadly, Morgan, Viv & Jessie will tell me to shut it, so that Izzy, Josey and Dahlia can continue enjoying a spring day, 10 years after Boo made it to town…

So tune in, see how close I can predict the future, and I hope that you take the time to celebrate where you’ve gotten yourself too, and don’t forget to anniversary – cake and ice cream should work.


}S{ | dona nobis pacem |

“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”


Aren’t you lucky … Scott writes AGAIN!

Perhaps I am following the good advice Alexandria (Stoddard) offers on the side of my coffee mug (Thanks ARP peeps!!) – “slow down, calm down, don’t worry, don’t hurry, trust the process” …
I’m good with the slow, the calm, though I hurry it’s not too bad – and boy do I trust. it’s the process I might have some questions with. Like, er, exactly what is the process?

Is it like the processing my credit card gets to do when I pick out a cool hat (no, really – it’s for giving me some shade!) and decent boots over at REI (thanks again ARP peeps!)? Or is it the process to make cheese American!!?? I’m just not sure. Might not really want to know.

Guess I’ll just sit back, grab myself a tasty spring blond, and peruse the intro to full catastrophe living (thanks blood!!) – see if there are words of wisdom on the process in there.

It’s been just lovely here today – sunny and nice, sat out front with Boo for goodness, an hour? just a lovely spring day, so Thank You the powers that be. If only I could gain a tad bit more relaxation from such wonderfulness, that would be great.

Oh, hey – do you have a neighborhood ‘listserv’ message board? We do here in the colonial village, as do the north gate park peeps. Here’s an entry from the other day:

Re: task mastered!! Chainsaw aggression therapy?

Posted by: “Heather Brown”   heathab30

Mon Apr 9, 2012 3:00 pm (PDT)

Love my neighborhood!
Thanks Alix!

On Apr 9, 2012, at 4:16 PM, Heather Brown <> wrote:

> Neighbors,
> We have a very small ornamental evergreen shrub that needs to be cut down. It’s about five inches around at the base of the trunk, about six feet tall and should be Christmas tree shaped, except half of it has been choked out.
> One strong swipe of a chainsaw would fell the ugly beast. We are having a very important guest next week and I’d like to see it gone by the weekend.
> Anyone willing to cut it down for us? I’ll buy you a sixer from King’s.
> Thanks!
> Heather & Holly

Yeah, love the ‘hood too. I’m vaguely intrigued by the ‘very important guest’ reference.
So in my transition window I’ve been looking at doing all sorts of things. Of course, as is my way, haven’t gotten around to ‘doing’ them – but boy do I have a good list started. You’d be proud, ma!
Of course, the stumbling upon things I do want to do, and setting it up so that I just may try something new. Local friends might want to wait a while before accepting offers of grilled foodstuffs (other than smores)
I hope you’re enjoying some springtime joy, and all is decent in the world for you. 
also – blue & Boo!
ciao amigos
}S{ | dona nobis pacem |

“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”

24 hours in a day…

7 days in a week. 52 weeks in a year.

weeks have gone by – recent ones having weight to them that keeps them planted here in front of me, where as weeks long gone are floated away from my visions, my memories, up and up and up until I have to search for them, seek them out.

Weeks go by, and winter becomes summer which becomes spring, so nice. Except when it’s low 30s overnight – oh well. No black bears wandering the neighborhood, so I should be happy right?

happy. Like looking at Blue as she bunny hops as i hold her dinner above her food bowl – she loves her some green beans – who knew?
happy. Like looking at the trees as they wake up from their nap, stretch oh so slightly, then commence with their magic show – bumps becoming blossoms, twigs becoming home to leaves and flowers, a trip to Raleigh showing me the colors – oh the colors – of spring!! ( I really have to say I hadn’t noticed before – perhaps the greys turning to mulit-hued springtones, perhaps…)


Springtime, when hope builds up, so the fails and falls hurt that much more, eh? But still, we keep our heads up – looking to the sky for sure signs we can relax, we can commence our frolicking by the sea, into the waves to feel the pull and the push of water that’s been here from time immemorial – heavy weighty water that washes and rinses and cleans. Cleans our souls, cleans our dreams, cleans our senses. Water.

There are great things about being more aware than you’ve been for years. See above, along with my ‘springtime’ pics. There are not so great things about being aware. You notice that even though you’ve walked paths fraught with sadness, you have no magic words to soothe, to express how dearly you wish things could be different, things could be better, that pain could be turned to paint, to color in the memories and make them solid and real and mounted on the walls in the hallways of our lives. so that with a turn of our head we can see the beautfiul and the happy and the good, no matter that they are lost to us now, gone on to their rewards, onto their lives not with us here, in our lives. Odd that.

I have hopes. I have belifes that allow me to be … here. now. happy with what I have. I hope that my friends have similar powers – super powers I guess – that will help them. Still, my words fix not the tears on their faces, or the tears in their hearts. Hugs applied, meak words spoken, gestures filled to the brim with truth of love, still empty compared to the holes and the abyss. I offer this, which is not much at all.

Love helps hurts.
Give time to your pain, no shortcuts exist.
and know your friends and family love love love you.

Bubbie, you are missed. Nonie, you are missed. Pops Starczewski, you are missed.

24 hours in a day, every day, every single day. Smile for as many of them as you can.


}S{ | dona nobis pacem |

“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”

it’s good to have friends… today was extra good

I’m extremely lucky. I feel such a deep sense of gratitude. I hope everyone has someone who makes them feel hopeful, special and loved.

Today (er, Tuesday, yesterday…) is going to take some time for me to put into words, but wonderfully I look forward to that task… but it is late, and I need my beauty sleep. So I’ll tackle a longer post tomorrow.

I do want to share, however, how tonight I was lucky enough to get a deep through the heart reminder of how ‘real’ and how ‘authentic’ a person can be. You can tell ’cause they’re sitting next to you, holding your heart up to the lights so you can see the glow, the life giving blood, the ugly scar tissue, all the while getting an audience to ride along, singing and clapping and crying.
So to you, you fabulous fabulous woman, I say ‘thank you’…
More later, tater.

Living with technology – April 2012 update

02MondayApr 2012

so, besides fretfully not dropping my Mac Book Air, I’ve been trying to make sure I get the right protection for it – the right slip case to put it into my Timbuk2 Q backpack. The right desk stand so that it’s both protected and proudly shown off – on the choices, including a potential vaporware docking stand over on kickstarter!


well, it’s not a pic of the right stuff, but it is from april so boo-yah!


also – this is an image format post