10:44pm total eclipse of the moon…

I shot some video, too many clouds.
went back outside – how to shoot the completely darkened moon?
I thought of what the full moon means to my wandering soul, and felt sad, for I miss you dad. Always a beacon in the dark night as I meander through life.
I thought of how perhaps the supermoon is making everyone just an extra bit crazy.
I’m filled with all sorts of jagged edges, nothing soothes, all a bit too much frankly.
But then I step outside, take in my place in the universe, and see something spectacular – realize my life is at a time when it’s all still amazing, but still awesome. I know what it is, but I can still give it my own meaning if I want to. I know that I don’t have to make any sacrifice to bring the moon back …

but oh the sacrifice I’d make, for certain lost parts and pieces …

:: s :: | vivere militare est |

“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”

on chaotic days, this is quite true: “language is a glorious chaos” (thanks XKCD!!)

A couple stands under an umbrella at the National September 11 Memorial and Museum in Lower Manhattan in New York, September 10, 2015.

take ‘never forget’, as applied to today’s remembrance of a shitty morning 14 years ago.
a sunny morning, I recall that.
my mom calling the phone in the apartment in LA – Boo perhaps waking me up to talk with her.
many many things I recall from that day; most filtered and ‘remembered’ past their original stark truth. But there’s been an impact of such significance that forgetting if not really something I worry about.
How do you capture the feelings, the shock, the drama, the sadness? By hammering time and time again the scraps of mental metal, forming a shape, a weighty piece of your soul.

I’ve been poking about Flickr to find images to add to this post. I think I have a similar one from a different time on an earlier blog, but this daylit shot, made me feel thoughts about how those in the midst of the chaos ran to find safety. Ran to daylight away from the dark, from the scary monsters of fear and uncertainty. Little did they know, there was no escape.

of flags, of darkness, of hope, of concern … all these and more jumble in the brainpot, as I listen to a set of music that’s better than what I’d play – thanks John!
September 11th, 2001 marked the death of my America. As idyllic as I romanticized the country and ‘place’ I was/am from, we took a turn away from what I would say is good, and we’ve stumbled drunkenly into a dark and demon-filled future. We pound on doors and shout and flail, when we could have gone a different way. We could have done things to be proud of – were they too risky to be good and human? We’ll never know.

Bad days – or am I deluded to think there are anything besides kinda shitty days?

Well, I wrote. At work (hey that’s new!!) – tried to put together an outlet, a scoop off the bucket of all that is jumbled inside. To lessen the load? To share? Not sure.

Realizing September is going to be a tough one.

:: s :: | vivere militare est |
“Keep Calm and Carry On” or “Keep Calm … and Cupcakes!”

{9:52am + 11September 2015 = Friday morning || KEXP John In the Morning show keeps me even keeled}