of todays, tomorrows, and the importance of being

“keep moving” – ~Oct 2012, durhamtown

from the calm of a Monday in the cubicle I get a poke from my Google Calendar.
as a man of dates I had to laugh at how completely off my radar today was, and frankly it’s a lovely example of … convergence! no – transference! wait – interference? projection? fuck…

So I dug through a few albums, had to revisit the Calendar note to get the year right.
the notes also indicates that our friends helped out with Boo.
I recall that was a hard dark time.
apparently I made grilled cheesys as a way to show love.
that’s changed a bit now – grilled quesadillys & … well,

pure joy, resting – ~Sep 2017, Hobbit House

It is seriously astounding the places in my heart, in my soul that this wee one takes/brings me.

//Good Life – Francis Dunnery – Scrubs Soundtrack // ah, touche Universe. //

the places I’ve gone in life are piling up under the label ‘interesting’
We had a moment, went camping, then from possible joy (Kimmy on the phone) to a really really really bad moment or three months.

good sir Trav watching out for us – ~oct 2012, Hobbit House

so we stumbled onward – forward, not fetal – and I doodled and tried to capture the loss of … joy? of hope? of …
Well, something big, something important.
setting aside those feels,I focused, and worked at making Boo ok.
because she didn’t deserve the pain, the hell.
she deserved a good life.

it was fall, there was grilled cheese and tomato soup – oct 2012, Hobbit House

and so we trod along. Not sure, not anti-sure. Just … as. “Pooh just is”
Good times, trying times, and then ‘well, here we are again’ – and that’s been kinda amazingly disorientating. Don’t think I’ve pondered the alt where-in Tomorrow turns 5 next spring. Huh. I’m sure that would be something indescribable.

// as a note on the tunes playing as I write this: I recall I screamed them quite a bit lo those years ago – Beautiful World – Colin Hay – Scrubs Soundtrack, Are you Having A Good Time by Leroy from Scubs … //

I get to respond to the genuine social-ness of ‘how’s things? how’s the baby?” here at work – and when that happens I get to step right back into the joys (and challenges) that Today holds for us.
All the perspectives have shifted even though I forget, finding myself on the habitual path; it’s not where I am, any longer.

In noting that as we adapt to his latest challenge (or re-assertion re: sleep and timing and ‘nope’ … sigh) we succeed just in time to have things change (hello rolling over baby. it’s called Velcro). It’s all the same, it’s all so totally different.

I ran, I burned, I graduated, we cried and cried and cried. Joys around us kept us smiling, chaos around us kept us wary – 5 years is a bit of time, much has changed much has stayed the same, but different. 
of love, of happiness, of awesomeness. Rumbly’s got a pretty decent Ma, I’d say – Boo, ~fall 2012, durhamtown

it’s pretty damn important in our lives.
I’m incredibly lucky to have so much, and have those whom I can love onto.

His name is Stephen. He literally is Today, the incarnation of Tomorrow for me.

Tomorrow arrived and with it all sorts of hope and joy and happy. ~Sep 2017, Hobbit House

I hope you have lots of love in your life. That you have joy. That in the painful times, the dark times, the lost times, you persevere (even if by accident) – listen to music and play it very loud. shout and cry and fury – whatever it takes to make it through the night.

If you need a hug I know a wee lad who’ll grab your ear if you’re especially lucky.


//2:29p + 25Sep2017 = Monday afternoon || M.I.A. Paper Planes (via a GMusic playlist titled ’17|08 Aug Home’ //

of happiness, joy, love & hope on a Sunday morn

how you doin’, gorgeous? – c Sep ’17 @ Hobbit House

I have had many Sunday mornings. Many mornings at Hobbit House, on the stoop with a pup, watching the world go by, discussion with myself, the pup, the sky…

today was by far the most amazing.

Have I told  you about my son Stephen? What? Yup – Boo made the perfect tiny baby, he’s been making our lives a royal mess/incredibly wonderful since April. holy shit – 6 months??

He’s singing on the floor to my right.

//the apartment by Barnaked ladies//

He’s amazing.
he’s trying to roll over again – not sure if from belly to back is the typical easy first-timer move

we spent the morning – he and I – (and hali) (and a cuppa) on the stoop. watching our neighborhood – be it Athena next door on the stoop, our new neighbors out walking with visitors, the guys putting the roof on the house across the way, the peeps from next door to that getting the fam into the accord to go … somewhere?

a pretty damn good way to start the day – tiny perfect baby, decent cuppa, the Hali-pup, and Bears With Beers – c. Sep ’17 @ Hobbit House

As we enjoyed, relaxed, embraced a slow start to the day I pondered how happy this made me. Which led to pondering joy v. happiness – I’m happy with the vendo-matic at work having a package of strawberry Pop-Tarts (I mean, who WOULDN’T be happy?)
Holding my son, drinking coffee, next to my pup, while Boo gets some much needed rest – yeah, that’s all about the joy. All about love. and dear wow is it about the hope.

blue skies above… with clouds. NOAA will have a handout on that, I’m sure. c. Sep ’17 @ Hobbit House

Hope. Today lived well makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope or so said an observer of the ever-new dawn.

I’ve sat on the stoop in times of joy, in times of sadness. I’ve pondered the entire range of feels and thoughts. that stoop has seen me in bad times. But today – with Rumbly – just wow.

well… that’s a face with some feels on it, eh?

What brings you happiness?
What brings you joy?
How do you fell loved?
Do you have hope, on a sunday morning, in the fall?


//9:49a + 10Sep2017 = sunday morning with rumbly || Love & hate by Michael Kiwanuka//

of particulates & participation – a love + hate story

clouds drift in, clouds drift out, my mind is … unlike a clear blue sky: c aug ’17, durhamtown

‘you bring your hate & I’ll bring my love and we’ll meet in the town square – bet i know who wins’
said bravely to the semi-full sink of dirty dishes
as the pup sits and suns
the boy crys
the world spins
hope … deflates a little, if not fades

a temple, a fire breathing Unicorn, and a Burning Man meet in the northern Nevada desert for a holiday weekend: c sep 2017, black rock city via YouTube (thanks @motorbikematt)

Participation & immediacy – make art from the screen grabs, but please, no saving and restreaming
Privacy & consent – this beautiful/harsh/lovely/daunting view is shared by thousands, none of whom you should be able to identify
Inclusiveness & self-reliance – you’ve got this – any and every single one of you
to gather, to commune, to live, love, laugh & cry – not a bad way to spend a week/end, eh?

here’s to love – well placed, unexpected, wonderful. Here’s to loss – damn it sucks: c sep 2017, with love, from Carol, to Stephen

Particulates lead to precipitation, which somewhat is phonetically ironic what with perception and participation might be stunted if there are enough or not enough particulates.

Aaron Joel Mitchell. I did not know, do not know, will not know – but his participation led to perceptions, led to precipitation, is leading to deep pondering. And projected fears.
and on a sunny, cool, Monday morning as Stephen stretches, coos, attempts to roll, but is killing the core with leg lifts for days, I look to my Boo – I recall our shock from yesterday, the suddenness of it, the quashing of joys and hope. Reality bites.
Aaron, I hope … your pain is over. that you’ve found peace. I’ll take your example and wonder.

left, right, up, down, zigzag – c sep 2017, durhamtown

life offers deceptive views of paths offered.
In the desert southwest you will see the distant mountains outlined, but no matter how hard and furiously you walk, you will never make it to the summit – it’s an illusion. it’s not where you really are.
But that’s alright – you are where you are – apparently it’s the place we should start at.

a scene in the desert, but not what it seems: c sep 2017, black rock city via YouTube (thanks @motorbikematt)

//9:03a+4Sep17=mon morn: sinead’s black boys into sweet dreams duet//